What Gives?

It finally feels like summer here.

The bottoms of my feet have toughened up and Jake's knees appear permanently skinned. All crafting has come to a screeching halt and cooking means lighting the grill.

But I'm not in a groove.

For years I had the same summer 'schedule' that involved only me and Jake. We settled easily into days filled with was camp and swimming and visiting relatives and friends and trips to the farmer's market. There were late mornings and air-conditioned movie theaters and trips to the supermarket just to cool off. Evenings out front with the neighbors and splurges on overpriced soft-serve. Year after year. And then there was an anomaly of a summer where a baby threw us all off our game. And then last summer. I had a baby who was happy to be schlepped where ever his big brother went—as long as there was a sling of some sort and Mama's breast. Portability at it's best. (I may have gotten a little cocky about how easy it all felt.) And then Quinn learned to walk. And talk. And express his opinion about, well, everything.

This summer I have a toddler. And a tween. And never the twain shall meet.

It's a juggling act at best and at it's worst it's dragging the baby to places he just shouldn't be (you try getting a two-year-old to keep ear plugs in while watching his brother perform on stage at a nightclub where the volume levels are dangerous). It's waking a baby from a cool afternoon nap to get in a hot car and go pick up his brother. It's asking an eleven-year-old to be quiet so that his brother can sleep. It's compromise all around. And I haven't figured it all out yet. I always feel like someone is missing out—like nobody is getting my full attention.

It's one of the paradoxes of motherhood. Time for everyone. Time for everything. I'm starting to come to terms with the idea that it just can't happen. Something's got to give. Of course it isn't going to be the kids. Toss it up. The marriage, the house, the finances, personal relationships, creative endeavors. Take your pick.

I'd love to know your thoughts. What gives in your life?