(You didn't think I was going to use that polyester hospital sling, did you?)
Thank you for all of your good wishes and book recommendations. The surgery went fine and the cheerful doctor says he fixed me.
Now if I can just make it through the next two weeks wearing ponytails and baggy shirts. Not doing dishes or laundry (hush, Niall). Ordering in and driving one-handed. Changing diapers with my feet (kidding) and typing with six fingers...