confessions from 4:48 am

i have frequent recurring dreams of a friend with whom things ended badly i cried twice yesterday, on the occasion of my youngest child's 4th birthday

i get up early for the express purpose of having time with no kids (or husbands) around

i don't fully understand the debt-ceiling thing

i almost never have breakfast

i honestly don't get what the big fuss is about gay marriage

i don't like kale or broccoli rabe (or arcade fire for that matter)

i write (compelling and thoughtful) essays in the shower but forget them before i can get to the computer

i can't stand wearing my glasses but can no longer see two feet in front of my face without them

i hate sitting at a desk

i love being near the ocean but almost never swim in it

i didn't keep baby books for either of my children and can't remember any of their stats

today's date makes me sad