Battle Scars

Have I told you about how big my baby is? Quinn was born seventeen months ago (five weeks premature) weighing in at just under six pounds. Not bad for a preemie. Right? Today he weighs thirty pounds. Just to help paint the picture here, you should know that I'm five feet two inches tall and weigh about one hundred and ten pounds. The point being that I am heaving around a human who is almost a third of my size. I'm wrestling him into his high chair, his car seat, his clothing - to say nothing of his diapers. (Why do they fight this so?) It shouldn't come as a huge surprise that I have developed a few war injuries over the past year.  One in particular that I can't kick. I've got DeQuervain's Tendonitis in my hand. This condition is so common among women who have recently given birth that it is sometimes called "new mom's syndrome." (Vindicated! It's not just me.) It's basically an injury that comes from the repetitive act of picking up your baby. It's pretty painful but I've been able to manage it with injections of cortisone. Until now.

My feelings about all of this are two-fold.

First, I'm in awe. I can hardly believe that I fed this gigantic person from my breast and nurtured him out of the NICU and into a size 2T.

Second, I wish there had been more time to hold him. (Isn't that always the way with mothers? The bittersweet emotions about how fast it all goes...) I wore him on my body in one sling or another for around ten months but he just got too heavy. I bought hip carriers and mai-tais and tried every method known to woman, but our size differential was just too great and I gave up and put him in the stroller.

Every time I lift him now, it hurts, and that's not okay. I need to be able to hold my baby who still needs holding.

I've decided to have surgery. It's minor and the success rate is around 99%. So I should feel better. After two weeks in a cast and who knows how many more of physical therapy.

As for those slings and carriers — they're up for grabs. If you would like one, or know of an organization which distributes them, please leave me a comment.

Thanks for visiting.